....is kind of how I feel at the moment.

There are simply a whole bunch of THINGS going on in my life at the moment. It's cultural re-adjustement, but even more bizare.

All of this was brought on by the fact that Jason and Tyler have kind of moved out of the house. Here's the deal: Tyler had a dorm room last semester and he never used it, as he never used it last year. Those boys are shacked up, and don't sleep apart from each other. Bridget and Michelle lived together last semester, but Michelle essentially kicked Bridget out, citing two reasons: 1) she's very messy, which is very true as I lived with her last summer, and 2) Bridget pretty much sleeps over at Mill Creek every night, and Michelle wants someone in the condo with her at night. So Tyler is moving into Bridget's old room. And when they told me this, I was like, "But are you ever going to be there?" And Tyler said, "Yes, that's part of the deal I have with Michelle," and Jason said he wasn't moving out, but let's be real -- they're shacked up. So they've spent the last three nights over at the condo, and even though most of their stuff if still here in the house, I have a distinct feeling they're not going to be Living With Me this semester, and probably won't be around as much, and I just really can't handle that at the moment. I pretty much can't handle that right now for a lot of reasons.

This is my last semester of college, and I kind of feel a little bit cheated. This is entirely due to the fact that, as I alluded to on my Kenya blog, I was not happy for my first year and a half of school. And the community that I have now -- where Katie and Jess are friends with all my theatre friends, for example -- is only about a year old. I am absolutely in no way ready to give any of this up. It makes my stomach turn at the thought of not living with my friends, of not being able to walk two steps to Jess' room, or go downstairs to see Jason working, to hear Tyler in the kitchen singing and have Sean and Charlie drop over for wine and ice cream. These people simply have to be in my life, in as close a proximity as possible. I spent the past four months with them very far away, and that was easiy the hardest part of being abroad.

I've also pretty much come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting into medical school this year. I've had about five nos so far, and no invitations for interviews at all yet. I knew this might happen; my MCAT wasn't stellar. Me not getting into med school the first time out is not the problem (I will get there someday, period) -- it's the idea of moving back to St. Louis. I love being in St. Louis, but I love the St. Louis that now only exists on the holidays -- the one where we're all around, where can basement it up till three in the morning and go to Uncle Bill's for pancakes at dawn. But the idea of living in that big dead house by myself -- I did it for a summer and I hated it. Living alone sucks. I love the freedom of being able to make cupcakes in your underwear at two in the morning and not closing the bathroom door when you pee -- but I can't go from here, where I have a house full of friends and love, to that empty empty empty place. Dust and bones, a life that was hacked off of me with a dull knife and a room that I've outgrown. I do not feel that I have a place there anymore, in the way I have a place here. If I bring my life back to St. Louis it will be in shambles.

These people are my family. Period. I love them so much it makes me literally hurt sometimes. It is completely not right that I have my biological family torn from me asunder only to gain a new one and have the same thing happen again. I've been ready for years to put down real roots, not ones that get dug up at the end of every academic term. The things that have happened to me in life are things that happen to people when they're older and more prepared, structurally, to deal with -- they have families and spouses of their own. They have beds that are not empty to go home to.

Anyway. Sorry, that's a lot of crap at once, but I've gotta go get classed up to go out -- tomorrow is my last First Day of School for a while, and if I'm not going to be living with these people forever, you bet your ass I'm going to make the most of every moment.

Much love all around, guys. kenya pictures soon! we promise!

Still alive, promise -- there was a time where my friends came for new year's and we did amazing four days in STL and then they left and I thought I had malaria but it turned out it was pneumonia but I still had to spend the day in the ER getting IV antibiotics because I was dead and then I flew back to chapel hill the next day and

There are no words for just how happy I am to be home.

More when I've slept and do not have plauge,

Kate

A/N: This is way overdue. If you want to read the first seven parts, see here.

Title: Chimeric.
Part: Eight, Bellerophon.
Author: ogreatitskate
Actors: Viggo, Orlando, Elijah.
Rating: R

( Part 8, Bellerophon )

 

Look! This is me trying to keep a journal.

Today is extra exciting because I am getting a Jess and a Katie and a Tyler and a Jason for the first time since late August. They are currently on the road, driving my car here to see me. We're then going to have several days in the city, doing St. Louisy things, which I adore. They're also going to be here for New Year's, although we don't particularly have any plans yet. Woo friends! But it means that I've gotta run a bunch of errands, clean my room, and set up beds for them, but I couldn't be more excited.

I had a marvelous Christmas -- Santa got me a Wii. Ok, so I got myself a Wii, but I had asked Santa for it and he couldn't find any around. I had the absolute best luck in the world -- I went into Best Buy to get the Joshua Tree box set (which I have not yet perved over) and said, "What the heck, I might as well see if they have any..." and lo and behold, they had recieved a surprise shipment. There were two employees standing at a table with a crate of Wiis, and I was like, "is this for real?"and it was. So I have a Wii. Santa also got me Zelda, Warioware, Mario and a puzzle game called Zack and Wiki that's a lot of fun but I think I'll have beat soon. I ADORE MY WII.

Last night Pete, Chels and I went to see Juno. It was absolutely wonderful. Run. Don't walk. The best movie I've seen in theatres since Brokeback, I do believe. It was just about 98% perfect. Perfect. Afterwards, we were back to the basement, where I was reunited with Tania! Finally. She gave me an adoreable Eeyore doll, and I gave her and Mama K their gifts -- khanga and DVDs. We then watched Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle, which, despite my initial chagrin, was absolutely fucking hilarious. We were all dying.

I'm also about to do something slighty bizzare. Over three years ago I started writing a fic called Chimeric, which was Lotrips Viggo/Orlando/Elijah. I began postingit as a WIP, and it eventually fell by the wayside. I haven't posted a chapter in more than two years, because there hadn't been anything to post. I've always had the Big Part written, but I wrote myself into a corner and was never able to get out of it. Only now I have. I wrote a chapter in Kenya, and I think I'm going to post it here in a minute. I doubt anyone even remembers Chimeric, so this is really more for me, so just move on along. :D

Oh, also -- would anyone be interested in reading the big-ass report I wrote in Kenya, on preventing mother-to-child transmission of HIV? I would absolutely love to share, but I don't want to post it for copyright and things -- I may end up wanting to use this in things later, but I would love to send it to you. Anyway.

Work is to be done! There is Wii to be played! Chimeric to be posted!

Much love all around, everyone, hope the last days of 2007 treat you well.

....and I'm back. *wee wave*

Hi! Hi hi! I am indeed back in the country, back on American soil, and have been since late at night on December 23rd. After leaving Kenya on the 15th of December, I went to Paris for a day and half with Nora and had the culture shock of my life, my Kiswahili and French getting all jumbled in every direction, and I kept on wanting to say "asante" and "hapana" instead of "merci" and "non." And Paris was COLD. C-O-L-D cold. Well, it was only -1 C, which is like, what, 28 F? Not that cold at all for a girl of Midwest Winters, but coming from Mombasa and Nairobi, it was COLD COLD COLD. 

After our short time in Paris, I was to Dublin, where I spent the better part of the week with my family. I'm going on the record now: I simply must, at some point in my life, live in Dublin. I don't know for how long, or when, but I must must must. Not only is the vast majority of my family over there, not only are they all wonderful and amazing people, but I Adore that city to an inordinate degree. Adore. Capital A. Even when it was cold and wintery and the sun was past the horizon at near to 4 PM, Adore. I barely even did anything besides walk around the city and see my family -- Brian and Mary, my hosts, were both under the weather, so we didn't really do anything in the evenings besides hang out and watch telly, but I love it there. On my last night in town, we had a big Christmas dinner type thing, with the whole Dublin crew over, and I gave a slideshow of Africa. Ellen is now 15 and wearing makeup!! And both she and her younger sister, Eva, are huge musical theatre fans who are currently obsessed with Hairspray, and I fully approve. I also helped my cousin Mary pick out a tree and haul it home. We named him Carl. 

Anyway, I'm now back in the big STL. The past couple days have been whirlwind crazy, and even today I'm off to the dentist to get a filling re-done (one from when I was a kid has now worn out) and I'm still a tad jetlagged but really just more tired, and my Christmas gifts are not yet all wrapped, alas. I have to try and brave the stores today, too. 

But for now -- Merry Christmas, one and all. Hope you all have had marvelous holidays. It's good to be back around. :D

And be on the lookout for some pictures, ya? ;D

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began,
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can
Pursuing it with eager feet
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

Flight to Kenya in t-minus 11 hours. My blog: http://kateinkenya.wordpress.com. Claire has been amazing and made me an LJ RSS feed, to be found at http://syndicated.livejournal.com/ogreat_abroad/. 

Love you all very stupidly much. I'll see you when I'll see you.

Much love.

<33333

Quickly, since I have a party and then a midnight to get to:

Let’s end this radio silence.

For the past two months, I’ve had this thought constantly at the back of my head – I need to post something on LJ. And yet for the past two months, even though I have not been in school and have been in a relative time of reprieve, I have not. I’m not entirely sure why – I still try to check my flist a couple times a week, but I haven’t felt the need to post anything. Perhaps it was the increase in paper journaling I have been doing, perhaps it’s the fact that I tend to spend less time online in general, but let’s be honest – four posts since the beginning of the calendar year isn’t anything approaching the upkeep of an LJ. And honestly, it’s been even longer than that since I sat down and read a fanfic, let alone wrote one, and my toes are essentially out of fandom waters in the purest sense.

Yet this past week, for the first time in a long time, I’ve been listening to a copious amount of our band. How to Dismantle has been on near-repeat both on my iPod and in my head. It was two years ago this summer that we were together, in Chicago, in Philly, in Dublin, chasing those boys around the world and finding that there was, perhaps, even greater joy in being with each other than in seeing the actual concerts (which, to be sure, were incredibly joyful events). This I have realized: There are some occasions that put people into your heart in ways that are inerasable. And you all were here for me during some of the hardest times in my life, unwavering, and some of the most brilliant, rejoicing. There are some things that you can’t go through together and not be friends afterwards. I’m finding the same thing is true here, in Chapel Hill – friends have been made over these past few years that I know will be with me in some way forever.

What I mean to say is this: I am thankful for all of you in my life, and I am sorry if I’ve been negligent in that respect in these past few months. I envision this LJ, therefore, becoming less of a personal journal for me and more of a way to stay in touch. I’ll have to work on this, as well.

As I said when I last posted, I am indeed spending the next semester of school abroad in Nairobi, Kenya. I leave JFK on September 1st, fly to Dubai, and then to my home for the next four months. My term ends on December 15th, and I envision that on the way home, I will stop in at least Dublin to see my family, perhaps spend a couple days in Paris or London.

While I am abroad, I will be active keeping a blog in order to stay in touch with friends and family back here. However, I will not be using this LJ – professors and such are going to be reading this, and I’d rather not divulge my slashy habits to the entire world. I’ll probably get something on Blogger or WordPress, but, when I do update it, I will do my best to post a notice in this journal.

So! Onto the juicy details.

I am currently living in a six-bedroom house in Chapel Hill with Katie, Melissa, Bridget and Tyler. Living in a house and being on your own with your friends is, in a word, awesome. The fact that I’m 21 makes it even better, because we can throw parties and have friends over without much worry. So far, this summer on the Hill has been typified by not enough MCAT studying, by 12-hour long shifts in the ER collecting data for the research project, by White Zinfandel with strawberries in it, beating Sean Cass’ ass at Mario Kart even when I’m drunker than he is, by getting absolutely wasted during the Tony Awards with poinsettias and toasting Raul Esperza every time they showed him on the TV, by spending far too much money feeding my friends my cooking lest they not eat properly, by watching Sex in the City and ER on DVDs, by drunkenly dancing in the rain with Sean Cass outside my house on my street showing him how to waltz and falling into a kind of love with him, by seeing traumas being wheeled in that you know won’t make it through the night, by hitting Jordan whenever he smells like smoke, by Jason visiting us and buying turtles, by Paul Farmer in Pathologies of Power and Mountains Beyond Mountains, by singing Parade at the top of my lungs, by missing St. Louis and feeling slightly guilty about not being with Rich and Nora this summer (how many summers do any of us have left?), by convincing myself I will be in the 96% of applicants that get rejected from the med schools to which I am going to apply, by knitting knitting knitting, by preparing for Kenya with Swahili and sunhats, by reminding myself that every single day of this is to be cherished.

Cherished beyond belief, my friends. How often in my life will I live minutes (or seconds) away from so many friends like these? Who knows where I’ll be, geographically or professionally, in ten months?

More on all of this later, I suppose. Katie and Chris and I are probably going to go out tonight after we all get back from work. And I’ve got a turkey burger from Whole Foods to cook up. 


It’s Midsummer in Chapel Hill, and I am happy.

It’s snowing in St. Louis.

It’s the first days of new March, but it’s snowing in St. Louis. The back of winter will not yet be broken, and flurries fall down onto the cold, frozen ground.

We’re burying Bobby Maessen tomorrow morning. St. John’s, down Manchester, where my brother’s high school band played gigs and where Bobby and Steve worked hard labor for daily wages in summers, building up the church.

Bobby was the most genuine, caring, and loving person I have ever had the privilege to call a friend. One of my strongest memories of him is my brother’s last night in town before leaving for college, the official last day of Childhood for all my friends. We sat down on the front stoop of my house with a camcorder, and Bobby talked into the camera about how much he had learned from Rich, how happy he was to have found the basement and all of us. He thanked us for the summer. All I felt for him was love and admiration.

On our “Basement – So Awesome” shirts, there’s a giant traffic cone sitting on the couch. That’s the one Bobby found abandoned on the street, the one with “LACLEDE GAS CO” stenciled on in big box letters, that has lived in our basement ever since that night. After his viewing tonight, I dragged it out of a closet and sat it down in the center of the room. A ludicrous, neon-orange memorial for a twenty-three year-old. By a boy-man who still went by “Bobby.”

We are too young for these tasks.

A high school reunion in a funeral parlor. His baby pictures next to his Prom King sash and crown. Me and my friends in pictures with him on the boards. Graduation and one-act plays. His facebook wall filled with prayers and goodbyes.

Bobby, who somehow made the lay-up he dropped dead in the middle of in a random Sunday night pick-up game. Bobby, whose heart has been shipped to the Mayo Clinic for answers, because his autopsy doctors can’t explain what happened. There’s something so intrinsically wrong about burying that boy without his heart. I know it’s just a body, it’s just flesh, but if there’s one thing Bobby had, it was love.

People come into our lives, and they bring us love and hope and peace and joy and Christ, and they are taken from us before we are wise enough to realize how blessed we are to have them.


Tomorrow morning, we’re burying Bobby Maessen. I don’t know if I can.

I did the thing where I was antsy, so I sat down and ended up writing a couple pages on human rights.

Now if only someone with integrity and vision would stand up and say this.

++

Either a thing exists because it exists, or it exists because we say it exists. Either there exist the things that we collectively term human rights, or these are merely what we say they are and nothing more. These rights, in short, are either God-given or humanly prescribed. That right there is an argument unto itself. But if were are right – if human rights exist because they exist – then the denial and mitigation of these rights is nothing short of wrong. It is wrong when a man is held in slavery designed by monetary traps. It is wrong when a child is forced to become a soldier in a war he has no ability to understand. It is wrong when a woman can not leave her house without her husband, though she wants to. These things are wrong not only because they so obviously infringe upon a person’s right to self-determination, but also because they offend something seated deeper within our humanity. They are crimes whose civil punishments can not begin to repair the harm that they have caused, for their perpetrators presumed to think that our humanity is able to be qualified. They presumed that one life is worth less than the next. They presumed to deny the fact that we are all children of the same Creator, who instilled in our hearts, a soul, and in our minds, a recognition of our undeniable humanity. These facts tear down every wall which we pettily have built between ourselves, differences of religion, gender, race, class, language and culture. These crimes are wrong, and more than because we simply say they are wrong.

The path towards justice is a path arduous and long, but it is a path that we, as a human family, are destined to travel together. There can be no peace in our world until every person is at peace with his brother. There can be no equality in this world until every man considers every woman his equal. There can be no justice until each of us enacts it first in our own lives. It is so hard to build this City. The walls must be constantly being built. But the true measure of a people is not how they languish happily in wealth, but how they arise to fight battles to give help to the helpless, voice to the voiceless, and power to the powerless. We can not allow any refuge for those who would seek to enslave, subjugate, and oppress, for with our greatness comes great responsibility.

We are for human rights everywhere. We are for freedom of speech everywhere. We are for self-determination everywhere. We are for freedom of worship everywhere, we are for freedom of action everywhere, we are for freedom of thought everywhere. We believe that no person should need fear for his life and his children’s lives. And to accomplish this noble end, we bring about a new frame of thought, based on a single, undeniable truth: we are all humanity, and our humanity is all that we have.

For the record, my evening last night consisted of playing Double Dash against and then cuddling with three beautiful gay boys and a straight one, too, and watching a PANDA MARATHON. With some Daily Show and Colbert thrown in.

Just sayin'.

My, I've been AWOL for a while now, haven't I? Yes, yes I have.

I am back at school, after a pretty decent winter break. I enjoyed being home very much and having the time of, but I missed my friends here and Chapel Hill in general something fierce. Doesn't bode well for the fact that I want to go abroad next semester in the fall. Hmmm. Gotta work on that.

Some tiimes at home were stressful, namely Christmas itself. We had our friend the Norrises, who had us over for Thanksgiving, over, and Nora went moderatley crazy. They're our friends, and while I love entertaining, we don't need to pull out all the stops and the good china, do we? I sang at church on Christmas morning, soloing When Blossoms Flow'rd Mid the Snows, and Rich and Nora said I did a very good job, and are generally honest about these things. Other than that, we went to Springfield for Chelsea's 21st birthday, which was, well, yanno. I couldn't go to the bars since I'm not 21, so I DDed, and played a lot of guitar hero. Then was unable to sleep because Eric was snoring so loudly and we were in Pete's loft (no doors), so packed up our stuff at 8:30 and drove home, where Eric proceeded to vom twice, once in the car. Not shiney, but oh well. I got the car washed and the mats cleaned, so all is well. Actually, that reminds me, I left a floormat in St. Louis..hmmm.

Still, being with all my friends back home was fantastique. And Santa was silly kind to me. I don't know HOW I suddenly have so many clothes, and just stuff in general. I plan on using today to clean and organize the room, and maybe bundle some old clothes to take the goodwill, although I really did try to take nothing back here that I wasn't *sure* I was gonna wear.

On the way back here, I did the thing where I stopped at Shannon's for a couple days! And that was most excellent. There was a whole lot of laughing and cuddling and pancakes. And geocaching, which was so much fun that I might have created an account on the site and am considering eBaying a cheap GPS, also because all my friends here would ADORE it. J and L are both awesome as always, though L is getting frighteningly big. Oh! There was also a bit of yarn shopping, wherein I was bought sock yarn hand-dyed by a girl who I remembered meeting at that same yarn shop about a year and a half ago. CRAZY, eh? Shannon was frightened by my brain.

But I am back at school! And I adore here. And I adore my friends. To a stupid degree. The drive back here was awful, raining so bad the whole way that 8.5 hours became 10.5 hours, and I pulled over twice because I literally couldn't see anything. BOO. But the first thing I did upon rolling into Chapel Hill was call Jason, who was drunk at his house with Skylar, Tyler, Maggie, Jordan, and Ashley S, so I went there before going home and got tackle-hugged by people whom I adore. Who can be upset after that? Sean Cass texted me that when he got to hug me, he may never let me go afterwards. Mutual feeling there. I was furthermore reunited with Katie and Jess, my roomies, and that was absolutely wonderful. They live just down the street now, holla! I can't wait to hang out in their room and hear all the stories I can about their trips abroad.

Classes began yesterday. I'm only (heh, only) taking 13 hours, and this is my last semester of chemistry, ever. I'm in orgo chem, orgo lab, anth of development, bioarcheaology, and Goldberg. So while this won't be as academically a demanding semester, I've got to do three million other things. Produce Urinetown, maybe audition for Midsummer next week, apply to go abroad, apply for internships, and begin studying for the MCAT, and find housing for next year. And that's just the short list. And I also signed up yesterday to volunteer at the hospital from 9 AM - Noon in the ER on Tuesdays. Resume building, but also, terrifying.

I'm like, growing up and shit. What the eff is this all about? What do you mean my friends are going to graduate and start new lives elsewhere? That's not right at all.

I need to get a move on for lunch with Jason. But one more thing -- I saw Dreamgirls, and while it's not Great Film or anything, it's solidly good, and Jennifer Hudson (the girl who was on American Idol) has one of the best voices I've ever heard in my entire life. Totally upstaged Beyonce, and blew me out of the water. The price of admission to this film is paid off alone in her rendition of And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going, which floored me. Seriously, girl has PIPES. And a gift that can't be taught in classrooms. SEE IT.

Ok, gotta get a move on! MUCH LOVE ALL AROUND. You guys know I read my flist pretty much every day and love you, even when I'm AWOL, right?

Happy 2007!

adeste, fideles
laeti triumphantes
adeste, adeste in Bethlehem
natum videre
regum angelorum
venite adoremus
venite adoremus
venite adoremus
Dominum


Merry Christmas, everyone. :)

13 hours, 3 minutes, 872.1 miles, 3 stops.

Not bad! I did turn the wrong way onto the highway once right on the TN/KY border, so I had to go an extra five miles before I could turn around, but no bigs. Other than that, one of the best drives in recent memory. I had had a full night of sleep the night before, there was excellent weather and clear day across the whole of the drive, and no traffic/rush-hour worries. If they could only all be so nice, heh. Driving into the City last night was absolutely beautiful. I hadn't remembered how all the office buildings along 40 put those cone-shaped Christmas trees on their rooves, so seeing that was marvelous. Jason entertained me for about the last hour or so of the trip, which was marvelous and made the time fly by.

Speaking of that boy, he gave me a trio of lovely Christmas gift -- knee-high Christmas socks, double dash!!, but then also made a donation in my name to MSF. Which is kind of perfect. I got that email right before I was off to my French/Chemistry exams at OMG o'clock, and it sort of made my life.

But anyway, I am back in St. Louis. Friday night was everyone's last night in town, esp. Abby, who is off to London next semester. I got dinner with Graham and Thomas at med deli, which was delicious. And since my roommate Angela had left that morning, everyone assembled in my room, which is odd, since my room is never the hang out room. But it worked! We watched The Devil Wears Prada and ordered in pizza and pokeys. Before and aftwards, everyone played a good deal of double dash, especially after, when Sean Cass and Jordan went to a birthday party. That game is AWESOME. And addicting. Like woah. There's one where you just throw bombs at you friends for about forty five seconds, and it's utter pandemonium. In the best of ways.

This break marked the first time I sort of just wanted to stay in Chapel Hill rather than returning here. Don't get me wrong, I adore St. Louis and my friends here, and this is truly where my home is ... but I wanted to stay. Things are just different here now. The first two years of school, I was wanting to get home and be with dad, or, last winter break, just wanted to be out of school, so the current paradigm shift makes sense. This semester also marks the first one where I went out and made really really good friends, besides Jess and Katie, simply because they weren't around. So while I missed them terribly and am so so ready to see them in Janurary, I think having them gone was good for me. I tend to get clingy, as you all know. Jason is the exception to the rule, natch. It's all very complicated and I could go on for hours, but it has a lot to do with the fact that the St. Louis in my head only exists when we make it exist, when everyone comes back home. The rest of the year, this house is empty. You understand? In you that journey is.

But anyway! I'm on vacation! For the first time since May! We're putting up the tree today and having our new dryer/washer delivered. I still have to do a lot over break, including:

-Finish Christmas shopping
-Finish Christmas cards
-Pauper Website
-Urinetown Rights
-Eye doctor
-Dentist
-Intership applications
-TB test/volunteering at hospital application
-KNITTING. Oh, how I will knit.

I also want to organize my yarn stash/needles and my music. I realized how poor a state my music was in on the ride home. I need to re-burn old CDs, get a second binder, and remove music from my car that don't listen to anymore.

Anyway, food and some church. Then unpacking my car and putting the tree up.

Much love.

Also, they may have played City of Blinding Lights in the movie last night and I SO wasn't ready for it.

Oh, my life.

My anth, french, and orgo finals are over with. Tomorrow, anatomy (haven't quite begun to study for that one yet) and no-sweat Goldberg. Studying shall commence shortly.

My life the past few days has involved one of the two extremes: holed up in Davis library studying for hours upon hours upon hours, or looking insanely classy and attending a couple of Christmas cocktails.

Saturday night was the party at Michelle's townhouse, which was a lot of fun. One of the highlights of the night, however, I must tell you, was recieving a call from a certain group of slashers, Adam-side rail, on the Big Island. It may have made my freakin' night, because there I was, surrounded by all my school friends whom I adore, and I get a call from another group of people who I am blessed enough to both have in my life, and blessed that they love me so much that they called when a certain song was played. So much love.

Last night, after I had taken my hardest exam, I decided to go to the Lab! Cocktail as well. Beforehand, Jason and I went over to our friend Kirsten's house, who kind of fell off the face of the earth these past couple months, and had a lovely dinner. We brought wine and flowers! Not before, however, I had ironed Jason's (and his boyfriend's) shirts for the evening. Old married couple hello? Lab Cocktail was fun after the party thinned out. It was PACKED with tons of people I didn't know, which isn't so much my scene, but after about an hour people started to leave and it got fun. I brought a sprig of mistletoe with me, which turned out to be the best idea EVER. I got to play matchmaker and get anyone to kiss me when I wanted to. BEST IDEA EVER.

Also, last night, no fewer than five people found it appropriate to corner me, at different times, and tell me how awesome I apparently am. Sean Cass, Bridget, Chris Dorman, but especially Kirsten and Tyler were espousing my (tenatively) virtues so much that my cheeks were seriously in pain by the end of the night from smiling so much. Topics included my theatrical professionalism, my stage presence, my vocal ability (I told Tyler that I was untrained, and he said that if I got trained, I would be, in his words, "untouchable" due to my "natural talent"), how I'm apparently the most giving and loving person any of them had met(?), how Sean wouldn't want to have anyone else on this campus producing Urinetown, how the reason I don't have a boyfriend is that no one they know is good enough for me(!?), my "beauty," and how I'm going to do great things in my life. I mean, holy shit, right? I don't know percisely how much of that I agree with, although you can see why I was blushing the whole night. Really, it was a love-fest all around with lots of hugging and, well, love.

I didn't quite make it home last night. The plan had been for me to drive Jason's car back to his house, then Jason and Tyler would walk me back to my dorm, and then walk home together, but poor Tyler fell ill when we taking Kirsten home. And considering by the time we got him into bed and I felt comfortable leaving, it was 4 AM and cold, I borrowed some of Jason's PJs and crashed on his housemate's bed. So I sort of had a pseduo-walk of shame back home this morning, but at least I had grabbed some sneakers and jeans, so I didn't look ridiculous. That reminds me, my dress is still in my bag....haha.

Oh, my life. I love my friends so much. So stupidly much.

To my books. Love all around.

( Pictures from the Soiree, as requested, on Saturday  )

You know what?

I've got a pretty damn good life.



I really do.